Nowadays, teenagers are more depressed than ever before because of their hectic routines and aimless life but their parents are still unaware of the fact. Pragmatically, the stress in teenagers is rising with every passing year of their lives and they try to get rid of this rising stress level by several unfair means. Therefore, know your child before it’s too late to know them.
Rising Stress in Teenagers:
According to several researches, students all over the world are going through the rising stress level. Mainly it is due to academic pressure, unstable financial conditions, and uneven parent’s relation but Pakistani teenagers have more reasons than that. Most of us have experienced these reasons.
Every student has a different caliber, so every student should be dealt with accordingly but in Pakistan, the students are compared with each other. If anybody gets the first rank in the class, the students are more concerned with their own rank rather than celebrating the success of the fellow. It does not end here! In the same situation, the student with last ranked or with average performance gets the weird looks of their fellows.
Additionally, teachers are not working on weak students but are busy polishing the bright students. As a result, the top student remains at the top and the weak students lie where they were before.
Moreover, the weak students try to intimate the top student, just to be accepted in the class. They try to copy every act of the top students even if he/she is doing anything wrong. Ultimately, the unique personality of the weaker students fades away because they are not accepted, the way they are. Also, it develops the stress in teenagers who are experiencing it all since their childhood.
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It starts when the parents expect more from their children. Normally, the children are not aware of the importance of grades but they are fed by their parents that grades are all that matters. Eventually, the children focus more on their studies and less on their other abilities. Every child has a hidden talent which is discovered by the parents or the teacher but in Pakistan, it is a rare case. Here, the parents are more concerned with the grades.
With the passage of time, it becomes difficult for the children to perform well because the workload increases with every class. Therefore, the parents try to help their children by sending them to tuition centers where they cram the stuff they learned in the school. Well, the students might get better grades but it raises stress in them. Generally, the students can get better grades without dealing with the stress.
Moreover, when the students are in Matric/O level and Intermediary/A level, teenagers are more pressurized to get good grades. The reason behind is to get admission in the best of the universities.
The parents can help their children reducing the stress level but unfortunately, they are adding fuel to the fire. At every stage of life, the child needs someone to listen to them and know their feelings and we all know that the parents can do it best. Contradictorily, the father is busy with the office work and the mother has much work at home. So, the parents do not pay attention to their children but they are highly alert to pay the fees of their children on time.
Furthermore, the parents compare the performance of their child with the children of their friends, and relatives. E.g Arshad’s son has topped the CSS exam, Bhatti’s daughter has become a doctor, Aslam’s son is studying abroad on scholarship, and your cousin has scored better than you, etc. I’m pretty sure that you have heard many of these examples. Actually, the parents think that it is an inspirational speech for us but as when we are compared to anybody else, we get highly embarrassed for not qualifying well.
Relatives are highly respected in Pakistani culture but the relatives do not skip any opportunity to ask your future plans and your grades. You have more example than me but let me share one with you all:
Aunt: How was your result?
Aunt: Ahan! My daughter told me that you scored an average. Actually, my daughter got better marks than you.
Hence, the relatives put their fingers in the pancake, every time. I’m sure you have experienced it many times.
Lack of Right Guidance:
In Pakistan, it is hard to find any mentor who can guide you with the right study track. So, the students are confused that what really want to do in their lives. Since our childhood, many people ask us the same questions,” what do you want to be when you grow up?” Usually, we had two answers, a doctor or an engineer. We all knew who is a doctor and what does he/she do but what does an engineer do? At that time, we were not aware of that but still, we used to answer in two ways.
We grew up with no idea in the minds that what we really want to become once we grew up. It is decided after our Matric and Intermediary result. Why? It is because the marks decide our fate. If you are on merit than it is easy to become a doctor and second priority remains to engineer. Apart from this, there are many other fields but we get to know about them once our name does not appear in the merit list.
It is a serious issue that stress in teenagers is increasing which is misleading the teenagers. Therefore, the parents should spend some productive time with their children in which they do not discuss the grades of the children and compare the results with other students. So, the children would feel more comfortable discussing their issues with their parents.
Moreover, the teacher should not only focus on the bright students but on the whole class. Ultimately, every child would learn and develop in the four walls of the school and would love to go to school. Additionally, they would become who they are and would polish their own personality rather than becoming someone else.
OUR SMART MUSHWARAH: PHONEBOX YOUTUBE
Lastly, we have special Mushwarahs for stressful teenagers.